The "Alexander And the Terrible" is Not Terrible Review

Damian Gordon
South Campus Bureau Chief

    Disney must be putting something in the water, because it’s hard not to come out of their movies with a smile. “Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day” carries the mojo that makes people enjoy their projects.

    When Alexander Cooper (Ed Oxenbould) makes a wish on his birthday for his family to see what it’s like to have day like his, things start to get from terrible, to horrible and very bad for all of them.

    The film becomes increasingly entertaining when you see each members’ day get progressively worse. Ranging from catching on fire to getting attacked by a kangaroo, no one is spared from this unpleasant day.

    “Alexander” starts out following the same beats as any of these family movies. Kid is unpopular. His family members have better lives and don’t understand his struggles. Then, it takes that premise and shakes it up just enough to differ itself from the others in the genre.

    Adults, teens and children can all find something to enjoy and relate to here. Whether it be from relationship problems with a girlfriend, conflicts between work and family, or not being popular in school.

    It can’t be a Disney flick without a heartwarming moment; even Ebenezer Scrooge would have let out an “aww” while watching this.

    Steve Carrel’s character, Ben Cooper, is the most sympathetic as the positive dad, and even as his day gets worse, he tries to keep up the spirits of the family up. It’s hard not to adore Carrel in any character he portrays, as he brings that extra “something” to his role.

    Becky, played by Sidney Fullmer, is Alexander’s love interest and acts as if English is her second language: she nods back with an almost blank stare at Alexander’s comments. It’s unintentionally funny to watch this as the two share scenes together.

    It’s 2014 and Hollywood is still getting actors that barely look anything like the age they are supposed to be playing. It’s only second behind it’s obsession with remaking older films over and over again.

    The older brother, Anthony (Dylan Minnette) and his girlfriend Celia are a little jarring to watch as high school students at first because it’s almost like an old couple snuck into a random school and were role playing as students. He looks old enough to have been there to pick up his own kids.

    Paul (Mekai Curtis), who is Alexander’s best friend, was anything but that, as he was willing to abandon Alexander’s birthday for a more popular kid’s event on the same day. Which only hammers the fact that even his “best friend” is, at best, an acquaintance.

    I had a bad day coming into the theatre; then after leaving, the movie somehow made it better with the realization that my day was nowhere as bad as the characters in the movie.

    Nothing bad can really be said about this film as it does everything by the book, for the most part. It doesn’t excel and leave the viewer amazed, but instead leaves them having a feel good time.

    Going to see this is a nice pallet cleanse now that the summer blockbuster season has ended. “Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day” is short, sweet and doesn’t overstay its welcome. With other films trying to be three hour epics these days, it’s nice to get out a film before grey hair stars growing.

“He’s Dead”

Damian Gordon

South Campus Bureau Chief

    When you come out of a horror movie laughing, something has gone terribly wrong…or maybe right in this case.

    “As Above, So Below” is about a team of explorers that search the catacombs of Paris, where they uncover the horrors beneath the streets they walk. Centering on Scarlett (Perdita Weeks), she uncovers a clue in Iran that leads her and others into madness.

    This one of the very few horror movies that gives legitimate reasons for why the characters can’t leave or have a reason to be there. It’s not hard to feel sympathy for these characters because they’re not dumb teens tripping into Jason’s machete.

    When everything starts to go wrong, everybody else but Scarlett is smart enough to want out. She has the power of being the lead actress, while everyone else with less screen time knows better— to fear for their lives. 

    Before it became somewhat of a joke, where the movie shines is in the character department. A sense of fear for many of these characters’ lives can be felt.

    Papillion (François Civil) was the standout actor as his charisma carried the movie; he played the team’s guide and it would be hard for anyone to not want to follow him. I look forward to seeing him in other projects in the future.

    A thing about these “found footage” movies is that when the interesting events start to happen, nothing can be seen because the camera is all over the place.

    There are points throughout the movie where it’s going “hey, there’s so much scary stuff going on,” while shaking the camera. That’s great Movie, except nobody can see any of it and it feels like you’re hiding the fact that nothing’s actually going on.

    “As Above, So Below” had some tension up to a certain point halfway through the movie, but then lost it due to the fact that nothing was happening and anything that did just received laughs from the audience.

    The acting all around was very solid; it was just the dialogue that dragged it down sometimes. Some of the moments would have been frightening if there wasn’t a horrible line before it making the crowd giggle.

    Scarlett enters a tomb to find a mummy lying on a table and says, “He’s dead.” Now, I may not know much about mummies, but one important fact about them is that they’re all dead.

    Near the end, everything gets crazy and it feels like an amusement park’s fun house gone wrong. This is where the handy cam truly works in pulling the viewer. 

    When the movie introduced Benji (Edwin Hodge), the token black guy, as soon as he came on screen, the first thought that came to mind was “R.I.P.” 

    In a claustrophobe’s worst nightmare, part of the movie features a trapped Benji, and I found myself squirming in the seat and even finding it harder to breathe.

    As an adventure movie with horror elements, “As Above, So Below” would succeed. It takes the audience on an entertaining quest, but it’s not so much on the level of being a horror film.

    This is a great date night movie. Its runtime is not long and whoever is scared of horror movies would definitely be able to watch this.

Why Men Marry Bitches: The Review

Bella Riccitelli

Managing Editor

    There are hundreds of categories of self-improvement books that people read with the intention of bettering themselves. While some include ways to live a happy life, or how-tos with lists from A to Z, author Sherry Argov has released a book in the self-help genre that may shock some and excite others: “Why Men Marry Bitches.”

    Listed as a New York Time’s bestseller, Argov gives women the chance to help themselves become respected, smart individuals, rather than women who change themselves for men.

    Stated in the introduction, Argov says, “…I use ‘bitch’ in a tongue-in-cheek way. The term is intended to be satirical, and does not take itself too seriously. I use it to describe a strong woman who has her own identity and is secure with who she is.”

    I find this to be very important because in today’s society, women are often offended by the term, rather than flattered to use the term to describe themselves. However, by the time the book is finished, the woman reading is almost guaranteed to be proud to refer to herself as such.

    While the book is not written to make women into mean people, it is intended to make a woman go from “doormat to dream girl,” as Argov says.

    “Why Men Marry Bitches” is filled with tips and rules that are essential in gaining respect from men. Additionally, Argov includes anecdotes from both men and women, women who have used the rules with success, and men who have anonymously provided their opinions and personal beliefs relating to Argov’s rules.

    To be honest, I have used these rules and tips before with my own boyfriend and they actually work. I also know a handful of women who have read this book and say that the rules worked for them, too.

    If anyone ever caught a glimpse of my copy of the book, I would be slightly embarrassed due to the fact that it is filled with post-it notes and colorful tabs. In contrast to that, I would be anxious to share every single rule, page and paragraph that I so carefully made a note of.

    The book is not written solely for women who are seeking husbands.

    “Why Men Marry Bitches’ is not another ‘how to fetch a husband book.’ …It will challenge convention…and modernize the way you think about how a man chooses his soul mate,” Argov says in the book.

    Although some of the rules given are obvious and common sense, a various amount of them seem to be borderline genius, as if it really did take a book for the reader to figure these things out.

    The book is separated into categories: Throwing Out the Rulebook, Make Him Chase You Until You Catch Him, The Sun Rises and Sets in his Boxer Shorts, Female Button Pushing, Wanted: Joe Paycheck, Breaking Into the Boys Club, and finally, From “I Might” to “I Do.”

    The very last section includes every rule and tip from beginning to end, and is made so the reader can use it as an easy reference guide.

    If I could recommend this book to every woman in the world, I definitely would. It isn’t filled with tips on how to get married, or how to become a bitch, but how to respect and carry yourself in a way that will make a man want to marry you. “Why Men Marry Bitches” can literally turn any woman “from doormat to dream girl” in a matter of hours.

The Truth Behind Watch_Dog's Hype

Charles Fernandez
Social Media Editor

    After reading through countless reviews and comments all over the web, it’s become apparent to me that “Watch_Dogs” has become the next controversial game everyone is talking about. Unfortunately, “Watch_Dogs” is usually poorly judged for two specific reasons. It’s either because the reviewers’ criticism is based on the most successful open-world games like “Grand Theft Auto V”, or the game didn’t reach the expectations for the hype that it had. Regardless, the newcomer “Watch_Dogs” shouldn’t be compared to a game that won Game of the Year, when it hasn’t even fallen onto our laps yet. Due to all the hype it had pre-release, people have failed to put this game up on a regular scale and have immediately decided to compare it with the best of the best open world games—of course people are going to be disappointed. Why should anyone assume “Watch_Dogs” would be the start of the next generation of gaming, much less have a story that’s like no other? Because Ubisoft promised the best game to date and failed to deliver? That’s marketing, my friends! Even I had a different image of how this game was going to work, but it wasn’t at all disappointing, depending on how you come to view it. And although the story wasn’t the best, it was better than half of the campaigns I usually play. The fun isn’t found so much in the story, but in the action.

    “Hacking is your weapon.” This is what “Watch_Dogs” told us. People, including me, thought this game would have less guns and more hacks. This is one of the pitfalls we run into when we want to judge this game, and I almost fell into it, as well. Most people that I’ve seen play on Twitch or that have written harsh, negative reviews seem to rely too much on their guns and not enough on their hacking capabilities. A lot of players only use their hacking abilities to kill, rather than to SET UP for a kill. In a situation where you are told to kill off all of your enemies in a large room, people would resort to using guns, unless they find a grenade they can hack or a camera to look through. That kind of play-style feels like a dumbed-down version of “Splinter Cell Conviction.” But the game’s fighting potential comes when you effectively hack to set up kills rather than to just kill. Planning ahead is the key, and setting things up can get you far. You could go out guns blazing, or you could have fun with your tools. Here’s a scenario of what one hack can lead you to do.

    Start out with a Blackout to shut off all the lights in the room momentarily. Equip the silent pistol to take out a few enemies in the head with the time you have in the darkness. Before the lights come back on, leave a proximity mine next to the dead body closest to the group of guards that are still alive. Hide behind a wall, furniture, etc. As the lights turn on, the guards will notice all of the dead bodies that surround them. One or two will walk closer to examine the body that you booby-trapped, only to have it blow up in their faces. As the others are distracted by the explosion, take out an assault rifle, activate your slow-motion ability (Focus), and finish the few of them left. Easy to do, makes you feel like a boss, and you can rightfully say, “calculated.”

    All I’m trying to say is that if a player wants hacking to be a prominent tool in their game, experiment and find creative ways to deal with difficult situations rather than going in “Call of Duty” style. I’m not saying that the negatively scored reviews don’t know what they are talking about, but if the score is based on what you were expecting rather than the outcome, then you aren’t judging a game fairly at all.

    As for the driving in “Watch_Dogs,” it doesn’t feel too realistic and is a bit difficult to grasp in the beginning. It’s pretty difficult to make the turns on the road when reaching high speeds, but with some practice you get comfortable measuring how much you have to slow down to make a sharp turn. Luckily, almost every vehicle has amazing acceleration, which allows you to reach top speeds immediately after you slow down for a turn. The larger cars are faster than expected, which is pretty good when you want to deal with cops. The police are practically impossible to escape, at the hardest difficulty level, without using your hacking skills. But it’s in the challenge of finding creative routes to take in order to escape the police that make the cop chases one of the most enjoyable moments in “Watch_Dogs.”

    This is about as much as I can say about the single-player experience in “Watch_Dogs.” It’s not the best game I’ve ever played, but I believe it was definitely worth the $60, and I greatly recommend it to anyone who hasn’t set their expectations of the game to “unattainable.”

"In Harm's Way": The Road Traveled So Far

Charles Fernandez
Social Media Editor

    This brief analysis of “The Walking Dead: Season Two” will cover episode three, “In Harm’s Way,” while keeping spoilers to a minimum (which will be incredibly difficult). Oddly enough, to do this I’ll be speaking specifically about Clementine and Carver, the main protagonist and antagonist respectively; although this episode seemed to dwell more on the entire group than just those two characters.

    Players are finally given the chance to understand Carver’s way of thinking when he calls up Clementine to have a chat in his office. Carver believes that those who cannot contribute to a group are better off dead in this world that’s gone to hell. He values true leadership above all, and although Carver is aware that his actions are pretty messed up, he genuinely believes that they are the right decisions a leader should make in order to ultimately protect everyone in a group.

    While speaking to Clementine, Carver says, “Killing one in order to save many is part of survival. It’s one of the tough decisions that a weaker person couldn’t make. It’s why it falls to people like us to lead them to safety.”

    It sounds like a very utilitarian kind of standpoint. Carver’s words hold a certain level of truth, but his actions lack empathy. However, maybe empathy isn’t the best quality to have in a world of the undead. But if there is anything that Clementine’s group can agree on, it’s that the group would rather take their chances outside with the walkers than inside with their leader, Carver. That itself is a sign of a terrible leader.

    One interesting element about this episode is how Carver views Clementine. He sees incredible potential in the 11-year-old and believes she can become a great leader—whatever Carver considers to be a leader, anyways. He even compliments her by saying that he believes she was raised correctly and admits that she’s grown to be tough. Despite Clementine’s obvious feelings of hatred towards Carver, Carver constantly shows signs of interest in the kind of woman Clementine will grow up to be, especially in his last scene of the episode.

    Now let’s take a short trip down memory lane and recall the first season of Telltale’s “The Walking Dead.” Lee taught Clementine to become more independent and it’s in this episode that Clementine’s character development truly shines brighter than any other episode, by far. Regardless of the choices you make in this episode, there are many changes to take note of that the old Clementine would have never shown. Our more matured Clementine now has a say in just about every group decision. She independently takes action during the most extreme situations, and kills walkers all by herself, despite the difficulty for her. She also has developed a more realistic view of the world she lives in, all while maintaining her humanity. Although children are often looked down upon during the zombie apocalypse (because in a sense they are a nuisance), Clementine has continuously proven to be a valuable asset to the group, in spite of being a child.

    And the ending… my god, the ending to this episode gave me goose bumps. The statistics showed that most players “took drastic action” during the episode’s final decision. For Clementine to be solely making the final decision, at the spur of the moment, highlights just how far Clementine has come. From the scared little girl hiding in a treehouse, to someone willing to do what very few men in the world would have the heart to do, Clementine proves she can take drastic action to save someone’s life.

    “In Harm’s Way” emphasizes the differences between the group members’ distinct personalities (more than just Clementine and Carver). The writers accomplish this by demonstrating how unique personality traits can directly influence the situations characters experience. For example, Sarah’s oblivious personality causes her to speak and interrupt Carver while he is giving a speech. Carver then becomes angry and commands Carlos, Sarah’s father, to discipline his daughter by smacking her across the face. Carver’s oppression accentuates his followers’ characteristics. No matter how you cut it, Carver makes sure that your group is disciplined as he sees fit. As a by-product, the episode highlights the unification of a once-uncooperative group because of the trials they must endure.

    I personally believe “In Harm’s Way” was the most intense episode of the series, despite sacrificing player action for more dialogue. Telltale played with their strength, storytelling, and really did an amazing job delivering this dark episode. I cannot wait to see what the next episode has in store for us.

Iggy Azalea's "New Classic" Album Review

Bella Riccitelli
Sports Editor

    While being a female rap artist is considered taboo by many, rapper Iggy Azalea changes the game with her most recent album titled “The New Classic.”

    Varying in sounds and featured artists, Azalea surely outdid herself with her debut album. The CD includes songs with a wide array of themes as well. While some songs provoke wild dance moves, others provoke tears. However, every song on “The New Classic” seems to have at least a small part in it that plays as a reminder of all of the success Azalea has achieved.

    Something that everybody can agree on about Azalea, is that she doesn't present herself as a young, naive girl like most women do in the social media world. She's tough, authoritative, and she won't stop until she gets to the very top. When listening to “The New Classic,” that is something that she demands to be heard about herself.

    The first track on the album, titled "Walk The Line," really sets the mood for most of the remainder of the album. Azalea raps about her new found fame, and lets all of her listeners and haters know that she isn't going anywhere. She intends on remaining where she is in the music industry, even if it is alone.

    "Fancy," the third single released from her debut album, is a huge success, as it was her first song ever to chart on Billboard Top 100 in America. With a song as catchy as "Fancy," Azalea's music video for the song, a remake of the 1995 comedy “Clueless,” will never be forgotten.

    As the first and lead single of the album, "Work" is in my opinion, one of the best songs Azalea has ever written. "Work" focuses on the fact that Azalea spent a long period of time as a young teenager working hard to save money to move to the states. Then, at 16 she moved to the city of Miami without her family and made a living on her own as a rap artist—which is what got her to where she is now.

    Throughout almost every song, she appears to be demanding respect from whoever might be listening. However, every good album must include a couple of heart-felt songs, which “The New Classic” does.

    "Rolex," second to last on the album, really details Azalea's rough split from fellow rap artist A$AP Rocky. Azalea raps about the fall of their relationship, how she tried to make it work while he preferred to let it go, and most of all how she misses the times that they shared. I believe that one of the saddest lines from "Rolex" is, "I got you tatted and you took off before the ink dried off my hands." For obvious reasons, any break up song is sad to hear. Considering that, hearing it from a tough-girl rapper like Azalea only makes it sadder. By the time this song is over, I always feel crestfallen, as if I'm the one who just got out of a relationship with A$AP Rocky.

    Following right after "Rolex" is "Just Askin'." In "Just Askin'," Azalea raps as if she is having a catch-up conversation with her former boyfriend, and she displays just a hint of jealousy. A line from the song to illustrate this is, "What's up in your world? And are you still coolin' with that lame girl?" Also, "You wanted something more than what we had. What's up with her? She ain't all that." Towards the end of the track, what seems to be voicemails left from a female to a male's phone is played. In these voicemails, listeners hear a girl angry and then crying because her former boyfriend has moved on.

    I am so glad that the most emotional songs of the album are placed as the final two. While listening to “The New Classic” from start to finish, listeners hear that Azalea is just trying to live out her dreams. She wants the world to know how she feels about her place in this world, and she plans on never giving up. However, listeners also are given a glimpse into not only her mind, but her heart as well.

Puella Magi Madoka Magica Review

Ana Cedeno
North Bureau Chief

     If someone offered you a wish, anything in the world would you do it? What would you be willing to give up for it?

     This is a theme explored in the anime “Puella Magi Madoka Magica,” a short series that takes the magical girl genre in a whole new direction.

     It starts off like a usual shojo anime and has a bit of a slice of life touch to it, as it introduces the main character, eighth grader Madoka Kaname, and her friends. They go through their daily routines and deal with school, boys, and the usual things that girls experience at that age. The anime continues on this vein for most of the first episode, during which we are introduced to the character of Homura Akemi, an aloof transfer student who leaves Madoka vague threats about remaining the same and keeping her life as it is.

     The fantasy element comes in later in the show when Madoka finds a creature called Kyubey, who offers her and her friend Sayaka a contract. The contract grants any wish, but in exchange the girls obtain powers and must become Puella Magica (Magical Girls) and defeat witches, evil creatures who create mayhem and chaos.

     Kyubey explains that “If magical girls are born from wishes, witches are born from curses,” and further explains that it is a magical girl’s job to protect innocent people from the evil of witches.

     Joining the cast are also Mami Tomoe and Kyoko Sakura, both veteran magical girls who react to Madoka and Sayaka making a contract in different ways.

     This leaves the anime set up with the usual formula for a magic girl series—an ensemble of different girls who must use their magic powers for the good of all and defend their city from the evil witches. Seems simple enough. Sounds like a good time, a feel-good happy anime that you might watch with your younger siblings or friends on a lazy summer afternoon.

     It’s exactly in that deception that lies the brilliance of Madoka.

     Although it presents itself for the first few episodes as a feel-good series, it isn’t long before the death and horror hiding behind the pink bows and happy school days tone starts showing through. The first death of the series leaves you staring at the screen with a dreadful realization of what you’re in store for.

     The setting of the death, as well as the buildup, work masterfully to fill the viewer with that well-known, warm fuzzy feeling that comes from a feel-good series before ripping it all away with a swift decapitation scene. That’s just the beginning.

     The characters are put through even more trials and traumas as they learn the hidden horror of what Kyubey’s contract entails and what being a magical girl is really about. As the story progresses, Madoka finds out that Kyubey has been using her and all of the magical girls for his own means. He has also been keeping secret from them the fact that after being used by him, all magical girls become the very witches that they fight. In exchange for their wishes Madoka and the other magical girls have handed over their souls and doomed themselves to die and be reborn as monsters.

     While this anime may sound depressing, it is actually quite brilliant. Madoka Magica does exactly what it sets out to do—to completely deconstruct the Magic Girl genre. It brilliantly succeeds by putting in twists and making it the exact opposite of what you would expect from an anime like it.

     As a shojo, this anime looks and feels like something reminiscent of Card Captor Sakura, while the transformation sequences makes you think of childhood days watching Sailor Moon. It also has a very girly ambience, with one of the characters agonizing over a high school crush.The cutesy art style not only serves to accentuate the innocent, but also the horrific elements of the anime.

     While on the subject of the art style, the fighting scenes deserve special mention. The animation for the scenes has touches of surrealism that appear whenever a witch’s labyrinth is present.

     Although it might not make the witches that scary, at least not to the older audiences, the animation sequences are really incredible and give the scenes with the witches an eerie feel that helps the episodes stand out.

     Although only 12 episodes long, the anime manages to deliver its story at a good pace and wraps it up with a final battle and bittersweet conclusion that keeps to both the fantasy and tragic tones of the series.

     In its 12 episodes, we also get to know the characters fairly well as their backstories are revealed and they are fleshed out through the episodes. Such an example is Homura, who starts off as the antagonist. Throughout the series, Homura goes from being the most distant character to being one of the most empathic characters in the anime. The big reveal of her past and the reason behind her actions is one of the most heartbreaking moments in the series.

     The anime was directed by Akiyuki Shinbo and written by Gen Urobuchi, with original character designs by Ume Aoki.

     Overall, “Puella Magi Madoka Magica” is a good watch. It follows the usual paths of a shojo with some plot-twists incorporated into it, that help make it into an anime that truly sticks with you.

The Other Woman

Bella Riccitelli
Sports Editor

    There is nothing funny about finding out that your husband is cheating on you. There is especially nothing funny when his mistress knocks on your front door in a stripper outfit. However, Cameron Diaz, Leslie Mann and Kate Upton, stars of “The Other Woman,” made that situation into one of the funniest movies I have ever seen.

    With previous projects such as “The Notebook” and “My Sister’s Keeper,” it is no surprise that the director of “The Other Woman,” Nick Cassavetes, directed yet another box-office topping film.

     The movie starts with the trendy, firm, and stylish Carly, played by Cameron Diaz, in love with Mark (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau), a charming financer. Scenes show the two happily and passionately in love, until suddenly it’s time to meet Carly’s father and Mark spits out an unbelievable excuse about the pipes in his home. When Carly doesn’t believe her boyfriend’s excuse, she takes it upon herself to drive to his home in a skimpy plumber’s outfit only to have the front door answered by Mark’s wife, Kate (Leslie Mann).

    After Carly and Kate meet and talk to each other a couple of times, they become friends and decide that it is their job to take Mark down, rather than just leaving him to suffer alone in life.

    Once the women become comfortable enough with each other, the good parts begin to flow. These two furious women spend most of their time plotting schemes and following Mark around. During one specific outing, they find out there is yet another woman.

    Mark’s young girlfriend, Amber, played by swimsuit model Kate Upton, they are spotted at the beach. When given the chance, the two women approach Amber and inform her about themselves and their situations. After hearing what a sleaze her boyfriend is, Amber joins their team to take Mark down once and for all and teach him a valuable lesson.

    While this was Upton’s first film, she did an incredible job at acting, and it was unnoticeable that she lacks any experience in the industry. In contrast to that, Mann and Diaz’s characters were tear-jerking funny as always. I’ve never seen a movie with Mann in it that I didn’t enjoy, and I’ve never seen a movie with Diaz that did not make me want to be her.

    Types of revenge that the women come up with include estrogen hormones blended into Mark’s morning smoothie and laxatives poured into alcoholic beverages of his while out in public. Then, of course, the big bang: ruining not only his career, but his life as well.

    This movie is hilarious. I haven’t stopped thinking about it and laughing about random scenes since I saw it. Although bits of the movie were quite predictable and other scenes were just too played out or too obvious to be an attempt at comedy, “The Other Woman” ended up being one of the best romantic comedies I have seen.

    These women almost feel like your heroes by the end of the film. Their roles are so strong, funny and sneaky that you even feel as if you want to be their friend, to ride around town with them and crack their good-for-nothing man.

    “The Other Woman” is definitely female friendly. If I were to have a girl’s night out, this movie is the movie I would bring my girlfriends to, in order to guarantee laughs and to bring out strong friendship vibes.

    I strongly suggest “The Other Woman” to anyone who has yet to see it. Go watch it immediately with your best friend, and if you have seen it already, go watch it again.

Two Albums To Keep Your Two Feet Moving

Damian Gordon

Staff Writer

Pharrell Williams: Girl

    Pharrell is on top of the world right now with multiple chart topping songs under his belt. So what better time than now to release his new album Girl to the masses.

    The album is filled with influences from funk and neo soul to even touches of orchestral music. Its diverse selection makes every tune sound distinct from the next one.

    The catchy lead single from the album, “Happy” has been playing on any object that sound comes out in. Someone could go into a cave in the middle of a forest and the birds would probably be chirping that song all day there too.

    Pharrell is the kind of artist where more of him isn’t necessarily better, with over 40 minutes of his singing becoming grating with the opening song” Marilyn Monroe”. The first half is plagued with mediocre songs that make the skip button a very familiar action.

    The bright spot of the first half is the duet with Justin Timberlake called “Brand New”, where Pharrell’s voice actually works. It’s a very rhythmic song that makes you want to dance with Timberlake’s angelic like voice.

    One track that really highlights what’s so bad with the first half is called “Hunter”, making me want even more to put a muzzle on Pharrell with his  irritating falsetto. The song has cringe worthy lyrics like” Duck Dynasty's cool and all, but they got nothin' on a female's call, I’m a hunter, is that a tree is that camouflage? Come get eaten by the damn mirage”.

    Girl is concept album that could have been better executed in certain parts, but has enough saving graces that make it worth a listen.

Foster The People : Supermodel

    Played in Fridays restaurants, Gap commercials and any place that wanted the youth to think they were hip too. Foster The People took the nation by storm with hits like “Pumped Up Kicks”, from their 2011 album Torches.

    One of the best albums of that year with every song automatically catching you the second it played, it’s Supermodel, a deserving successor to their last effort.
an understatement to say they are a unique group. Now here we are in 2014 and the indie pop-rock band has returned with

    The electronically focused sound featured on Foster’s previous outing has taken a backseat for more guitars and a variety of other instruments from different parts of the world. The content has also taken a more aggressive turn at some points, talking about societal problems, personal demons, etc.

    Gone are the tunes that were stuck in your head all day, instead to be replaced with songs barely to be remembered.  At least that’s what I would have said on my first listen, but then something happened…I couldn’t stop listening.

    Supermodel has its own version of “Pumped Up Kicks” with lyrics just as dark, covered up by joyful singing by leader singer Mark Foster. “Best Friend” will have you dancing in a matter seconds, not even realizing that the songs talking about drugged out friends.

    There aren’t really any gripes to be found. That only helps to speak volumes on how much deeper and content filled it is.

    All the elements found in Supermodel succeed in many aspects that come together to make a well-rounded experience. It’s no surprise that Foster The People started a trend many other bands try to emulate, but can’t because originality can’t be copied and manufactured (well expect for the copies of this album flying off shelves).

How I Cried During the Finale

Charles Fernandez
Social Media Editor

    I want to start off by saying that reading this review will probably last longer than the finale of How I Met
Your Mother and I am notifying all readers of major spoilers ahead! You have ben warned! I have so much to say about this finale that I didn’t like and the mother’s death was the least of the problems, so I’ll leave her off for later.

    First of all, Barney’s (Neil Patrick Harris) ending was horrible. The fact that Barney started crying happily about having a baby made me very disappointed with its ending. The problem with this scene was that it made Barney completely fall out of character in a very unrealistic fashion. It isn’t even character development since the change occurs in an instant. Let’s recap on what Barney said related to having a daughter: “I’m about to tell a sad story," he began. "Glad someone can be happy on a day of a tragedy ... My life is over. Happy Notafather’s Day!”  When the doctor asked if Barney would like to see his daughter, he responded with, “Nah, I’m good”. THIS is Barney. Barney only asks for 3 things throughout his life: Number one is to sleep with as many women as he can, number two is to always have a suit near him and number three is to have a legendary life. Robin (Cobie Smulders) was the only case that managed to change Barney’s craving for a woman in bed every night, but even that took nearly 7 seasons to do. However, if anything were to stop Barney from achieving any of these three things, he would be 100% against it.
Barney would look at a baby and only consider it a thumb-sucking nuisance and a roadblock to getting women in bed with him. A baby, in Barney’s eyes, SHOULD be the epitome of bad luck. But instead, the show passes the touching scene over as if he has matured and really grown up. Of course most people would like to believe that, but in all honesty, as soon as he went back to sleeping with women, Barney reverted to his previous self. If you recall the Halloween party Barney was a part of in the finale, Barney said, “Marshall (Jason Segel), guess who’s digits I just scored? The slutty police officer-“and then he notices Robin, “ -er‘s tax attorney! Haha, saved it…”

    Maybe the new “I’m- in-love-with-Robin” Barney would have been crying and happy to have a baby (which is still a bit questionable), but the development from committed to player occurred to quickly to be believable.  Barney, as a player, is the last person who would be crying tears of joy and telling his arch-nemesis, “You are the love of my life”. It was touching, sure, but it should’ve never happened. When Lily (Alyson Hannigan) questioned Barney for the man he was, Barney replied with my favorite quote of the episode, “That’s me. Can I please just be me?” It saddened me that Barney’s ending didn’t even allow him to be himself. I can see that without the addition of the baby, Barney would have remained a very static character and not have changed from the beginning of the plot to the end. Yet, the whole baby scenario was a very unrealistic and bad way to go about making him more dynamic.

    Number 31 was a total excuse for Barney’s better ending! As heartless as it may sound, Number 31 was literally just a “baby carrier” misled by Barney, as all other women are, who didn’t get any screenplay, much less even given a name. This may very well be, the cruelest and most forced way of using a character I have ever seen in my life. And Barney thought HE had a sad story to share, but the heartless manner of using Number 31 for Barney’s personal story makes it funny and this is a comedy show. So, I’ll give kudos to that, I suppose.

    The scene I hated the most in the finale was when Marshall turned around to speak to the weird kids behind their booth. Nothing was more irritating than watching Marshall say, “Hey, you kids! Do you have any idea what happened right here in this very bar?” The kid asks him what happened and Marshall replies with, “Just… all kinds of stuff.”… What? I know some people took this scene as really cute to say, but this just felt like we hit a whole new level of corny, that it even became uncomfortable to me. Just all kinds of stuff? Care to elaborate on that, Marshall? All kinds of stuff happen around the world every day. All kinds of stuff are going on in Russia. All kinds of stuff are happening inside our bodies. All kinds of stuff happen inside a bathroom. I was left confused about the whole scene when the kid just turned back around to talk to his friends, as if telling Marshall, “Cool story, bro”. A much better replacement for that scene could have been with Marshall telling the gang, “I’m really gonna miss spending time with you guys here. ‘All kinds of stuff’ has happened in this bar.” Sure it’s a cliché scene, but then again, so is the majority of the show, which isn’t necessarily bad.

    Robin was never able to stay in one place once she became very successful and that was the overall reason why Barney and Robin got divorced. So if Robin’s traveling is what separated them both, how will this even help Ted (Josh Radnor) when he wants to date Robin? Is Robin at her house at the end of the story because she finished working? Can she now stay in one place? If so, then why doesn’t Barney go back to Robin? Barney did tell Robin, after all, that he loved her and vowed he would always speak the truth. I don’t think the baby would stop Barney from being with Robin because Robin likes the idea of having a child, which was why she cried a lot when she found out she wouldn’t be able to have kids. And something really makes me doubt that Barney and Number 31 are in a loving relationship. So I still have no idea why it ended the way it did.

    Even the kids at the end of the story had their problems. In some mysterious way, the daughter deduces that the whole story was about how Ted loved Aunt Robin. This is apparent when the daughter says “This is a story about how you are totally in love with Aunt Robin.” I don’t think anyone can say that this 9 season long comedy show that followed the lives of a whole gang with many interesting adventures and troubling relationships was just about “how much Ted loves Robin”. She continues on saying, “And you’re thinking about asking her out and you wanna know if we’re ok with it.” I must be missing something here because the daughter has now become the detective Ted has always wanted to be. The son agrees with the daughter, so he seems to be a genius too. This whole scene just forces Ted to go and ask Robin out for the “happy ending”. This scene was  way too rushed, didn’t make sense, and was the lowest point for me in the finale. Also, what a huge insult on the mother this has been! Instead of this whole story being about her, Ted spoke about another chick he liked and barely spoke anything about Tracy. Nice going, Ted.

    All of my other criticisms are a bit smaller. I’m sure many of us viewers noticed that the Mother’s death seemed like a really forced scene, as well. We weren’t even given an explanation for Tracy’s death, only that she got “sick”. Hope none of the readers die during Flu Season. This came off as if Tracy was only an obstacle standing in the way of Ted and Robin’s happy ending. And gosh darn it; Tracy must be eliminated to see that happy ending!

    I didn’t like the fact that Ted had way too much in common with Tracy (Cristin Milioti). I was happy to know that Ted could relate to Tracy, but I wasn’t hoping for so many similarities. If there was ever anything good that came out of the mother’s death, it would probably be that Ted doesn’t have to live with someone exactly like him and it makes things seem a bit more realistic. The similarities were dragged on way too far to the point that it just got plain creepy. Not only do they share the same interests but they shared the same initials, too (T.M: Ted Moesby and Tracy McConnel). I may have forgotten this, but can anyone recall a moment when Ted asked out Tracy? I was not only hoping for them to meet, but I was also hoping to see how Ted would ask Tracy out on a date. But the only thing I witnessed was Ted and Tracy already going out with one another rather than how they got to that point. All in favor of the sequel “How I Asked Out Your Mother”? Maybe this time around, we can tell Robin the story and end it with both of them getting a divorce, too. Now that we got all of the negative aspects of the finale, let’s go to what I really enjoyed about the finale!

    The only scenes I loved were from the time Barney wanted to play one last game of “Have you met Ted” through to the farewell of Ted. I felt that by having Barney play one last game of “Have you met Ted” with the mother, it could have started off as a great closing to the show. Unfortunately, this was never really implemented into the story but the E.T. farewell had me cracking up as well as the most legendary high-five. That’s about all of the positive things I can say about the finale and this ends my rant- I mean review.

The Bell Jar Review

Bella Riccitelli

Staff Writer

     The Bell Jar, an autobiographical novel by American poet and writer Sylvia Plath is probably one of the most beautiful books I have ever read.

     Taking place in the 50s but written in the 60s, Plath grabs readers by the hand and walks them through her years of college as an intern for a magazine in New York.

     

After winning a contest, the main character Esther Greenwood, known to be Plath’s alter-ego, won the competition to guest edit a fashion magazine. Hotel rooms, meals, clothes, and other various luxuries are paid for by the contest hosts.       

     Throughout the book, Greenwood begins to act and think differently. Towards the end of her college internship, photographs are taken of all of the contest winners. This is when Greenwood has her first real emotional breakdown.

     Deeper into the book is when Plath is believed to have started to lose her mind. Her character, Greenwood, returns home after the internship and decides to drop out of college. Greenwood spends her days lazily in bed, moping around the house, and refrains from sleep for days upon days.

     After her mother notices that Greenwood has entered a deep depression, she takes her daughter to a psychiatrist. This specific doctor makes Greenwood do electroshock therapy. All that this does is worsen her condition.

     Once Greenwood began getting worse, she really thinks about committing suicide. Attempts include using a razorblade, drowning, and hanging.

     Then, one day while her mother is away at work, Greenwood leaves a note on the counter stating that she went for a walk. When her mother returns home, she finds an empty house and begins to panic.

     While Greenwood’s mother was working, she snuck into her safe, stole her sleeping pills, and attempted suicide by overdose in a compartment under their home. However, the suicide failed, and she was found a few days later.

     Similar to Greenwood’s suicide attempt, Plath herself attempted suicide in the same manner around the same time.
I was extremely intrigued and captivated by Greenwood’s mental unstableness. To read about a time when someone can almost pinpoint the exact moment they started going off the deep end is really something.

       Once Greenwood’s attempt of suicide was known, she is taken to a hospital. After a few more mental breakdowns, she is moved to the psychiatric ward of the hospital.

       There, she sees a girl named Joan who attempted suicide after reading about Greenwood’s attempt  because she felt “inspired.”

       The doctor at this hospital connects to Greenwood on a very personal level, and promises that she will not give her the same electroshock therapy, but the right kind. Eventually, Greenwood is given insulin shock therapy and dramatically improves. She is then moved to a different facility.

       One day, Greenwood decides to go into town. While in town, she met a Harvard professor and soon after slept with him. However, Greenwood begins to bleed nonstop, and goes to Joan’s home for help and guidance.

       Joan rushed Greenwood to the hospital, and a few days later, Greenwood woke up in the middle of the night in the institution to be told that Joan committed suicide. .

       The book ends by Greenwood being given the choice of wanting to stay in the mental institution, or if she wanted to go home.

       I believe this book is truly a gem. Not often do writers write about their own lives, especially in such an honest manner. Plath even released this book under a pseudonym name because of how honest it was and how closely related it was to her own life.

A Ride With Barely Any Gas

Damian Gordon

Staff Writer

     The highly anticipated film Ride Along has finally hit theaters with Kevin Hart and Ice Cube together on screen for the first time. The story centers on Ben Barber (Hart) a small time security guard, who joins police officer James Payton (Cube), on a patrol of Atlanta to prove that he is worthy of marrying his sister. After watching the movie, it’s obvious that they should have replaced the ”ride“ with ”drag” in the title.

     The first half of the movie has Hart throwing line after line of jokes; that often miss their mark. Truthfully, it is just a platform for Kevin Hart…to play Kevin Hart. Luckily, other stars make an appearance in the supporting cast such as comedians Gary Owens, Jay Pharoah and rapper David Banner. They provide some memorable highlights, like a naked man covered in honey wrestling in a supermarket. Enough said.

     Ice Cube does not do much besides stand there, and scowl at Kevin Hart’s antics. There is a cringe worthy moment in the movie where Cube says, “Today was a good day”, a reference to his hit 90’s song. It would have been no surprise if Ice Cube took a mic out, then just rapped the rest of his record afterward.

     There is an interesting subplot involving James looking to takedown a crime kingpin called Omar. The story picks up halfway with a hilarious scene involving Kevin Hart and a shotgun. The chuckles turn into laughs as Hart slips in his comfort zone with psychical comedy.

     Cube plays the straight man throughout the film to Hart’s over-the-top performance, but their chemistry falls flat. Both actors felt as if they were in different movies or even reading different scripts. Chemistry is what carries these buddy cop films like Will Smith and Martin Lawrence in Bad Boys.

     Laurence Fishburn pokes his head in to play the villainous Omar, giving a sense of danger for the two heroes throughout the film. There is a chilling aura as Fishburn commands the screen with the little time he has on it. Expect anyone named thug one and two not make it to the end of the story.

     Ride Along does overstay its welcome, like a buddy’s stay on your couch for the night turning into months. Clocking in at 100 minutes, the film moves at a fast pace, yet feels like it is going nowhere even quicker. A saving grace is that Hart’s improvisation skills are the real star, especially since his costars look like they are about to break character by laughing along with the viewers.

     Ride Along is an entertaining movie for the most part, filled with bad sections that drag along at times. All of the films funniest scenes are in the trailer, which is disappointing considering it had so much promise. (Some of you) might want to miss this ride and wait until it comes to Netflix or television.